Finding myself in Hamburg while my city drowns

Can a German context be transformed into understanding an indigenous Sāmoan concept of relationality?

This was the central question I delved into as an artist in residence at Kampnagel, Hamburg. The residency was supporting disabled artists to create work in Europe. My job as an independent artist means that I am always moving between very different contexts. 

Before travelling, myself and my collaborator Imogen Zino had created prompts for audience members to collaborate and explore*. (see footnote) 

I turned up thinking it would be like other residencies - myself in a space - instead, I found myself in my own theatre with a full team for the week. They had mapped out the space as requested.

I wish all residencies and venues could be this well-funded. 

Everyday, I opened the space for people to come in and respond to the prompts. They rigged a camera above so that we could record these interactions. Looking back, the remnants of what was left behind ended up being what was the most intriguing element of these interactions. While there, I also spoke at an academic conference for the University of Hamburg, attended a workshop and tried not to let jet lag get to me. 

It was very strange to be there as the Auckland floods occurred on our first night there, art-making seemed very indulgent the morning after. Everyday we woke up and made our way across the road to the hotel breakfast, which was a similar buffet when I had travelled to Munich and Berlin. The German breakfast became an important ritual for each day.  

I was lucky enough to spend time with friends who travelled from Berlin and conversations with them helped me understand the German disability context. I hadn't seen so many disabled people working across different places like a cafe, the bar and in the venue. I learnt that companies are incentivised to hire a percentage of disabled staff based on company size. But they pay them less than other employees. It reminds me of our own sheltered workshop systems in NZ. Why do people think it’s ok to pay disabled staff a lower rate? 

Most Germans with disabilities speak only German. The education system streams children after primary school into five streams which dictate whether they will go to schools which lead to higher learning or more vocational streams. I’m still grappling with the idea of having your fate be decided for you from such a young age. 

These discussions came after attending a community day for disabled artists and allies, with the group skewed towards the latter all the disabled artists were immigrants/visitors (like myself). It helped me realise the importance of having any movement be led from within the community. And as a visitor to think about the local context - how can English-speaking artists interact with disabled community in Germany with the language barrier? 

The residency had no output value. Instead, on my last day, I hosted an open studio in which I talked through my practice and opened the space to be activated together. I wanted to open the space for audience members to respond and see if it would be possible to open, hold and close a space together.

It was thrilling and terrifying to open a space with no determined end.

But, everyone who attended was respectful of the space and of each other. I was also grateful that a group of crips had travelled for the weekend to attend. When they disrupted the space by asking for more bean bags it was a welcome reminder about creating space for us. 

Hamburg is a city of 1.8 million people, roughly the same as Auckland. They have this multi-purpose venue space dedicated to independent artists. I would love to see such a venue in Tamaki Makaurau, that held space such as residencies for disabled artists. 

* The prompts had the intention to explore relationality with yourself, the space and each other. One prompt said: What are you holding onto? I invite you to enter the space and release the tension, weight or grief you are holding. Leave it with us. Another prompt said: Trace a shape or line in the space using your body.