Matariki memories: Honouring our whakapapa by uplifting our communities

This year for Matariki my whānau and I will be packing up the car and heading down to the Hawke’s Bay region, where my parents live. They’ll be sharing their home by the beach with my sister, my partner, our three kids, our dog and me. It’s going to be a cosy weekend. 

My whakapapa Māori comes through my Mum’s line and the older I get, the more I am reminded of our similarities. She is sensitive, creative and thoughtful just like her own Mum, my Oma. Oma passed away last year and was the matriarch of our whānau. She was always thinking, caring and catering to others. 

Matariki hunga nui

Over Matariki weekend, my whānau will be connecting over Matariki Hunga Nui, honouring those we have lost since the last rising of Matariki. In August last year, the nurturing and warm Matriarch of our whānau passed away. Oma spent the last few years of her life in Taupō where we whakapapa to. Our Marae there, Te Rangiita Nukuhau, was the place of her tangihanga and for a lot of my family it was one of the few times we went to our Marae. Growing up we visited lots of relatives when we stopped in at Taupō on our way to Waipukurau where my Dad grew up. It’s really nice that my parents live in the Hawkes Bay region now because it’s a great middle point of where they both spent a lot of time. Although I’d like to be a bit more connected to my Marae, I love that I can visit and I know that it’s up to me now to keep learning and speaking to my whānau about our history and connect in my own way. 

Thinking about my Oma makes me realise how she, my Mum and I grew up in very rerekē (different) times. Sometimes I think people my age and younger don’t quite realise what life was like for our parents and friends of their generation. They didn’t have cool Te Reo Māori podcasts to listen to on their way to mahi or their workplace didn’t provide courses to explore Tikanga and cultural competencies. When I took part in the Toitu Te Tiriti hikoi over the Harbour Bridge last year I felt an immense sense of pride in my culture and my whānau that have gone before me. I hope that my Oma and Mum got to feel that pride too. 

Nowadays, it’s up to us to take advantage of the technology and connections we have to grow our understanding and grow our culture and identity. There are so many more ways to reach out to minority groups such as disabled, Deaf, rainbow or takatāpui. I feel very fortunate to live in a time where I can see people like me on my socials, learn a tip from Tik Tok about altering clothes or listen to a podcast about the queer characters in the latest Netflix series. We have to remember that if our ancestors were from a minority group, it could have taken them years to meet or even see someone that had their disability. 

Whakanui 

This year I was fortunate to attend Waitangi for the first time during Waitangi Weekend. When I witnessed all the waka coming in on Te Ti Bay I felt a great sense of pride and as the pūtātara blew, my body shook with thrills and I was just so in awe of the views. I wanted everyone to know I was Māori cause I felt so proud. That trip was so cool because not only did I feel connected to my ancestors, but I also felt connected to other tangata whaikaha. I wondered if, like me, they sometimes felt a bit out of place in Māori settings or that the part of their identity that was disabled was more prominent than their Māori identity. It shouldn’t matter of course and I guess the more time you spend in those intersections, the more comfortable you are. 

For me, it’s great to have kupu like Tangata whaikaha or Takatāpui. To feel that sense of acknowledgement of both parts of your identity is vital. In my last workplace I remember a colleague telling me a story about someone they spent the weekend with, they said ‘oh and he’s a taka just like us.’ I told them shyly that I didn’t know what that meant. They said, ‘you know darling, Takatāpui!’ Immediately I loved that they referred to me as ‘one of them’, I am Māori and I am queer so I should have been proud to be called Takatāpui, and now I am. I know that with my light skin and lack of all the te reo, I am still Māori, still queer and still disabled. So I love that there are kupu to identify with in all of these communities. 

Manako Nui

We are so fortunate to have all this knowledge and connection at our fingertips and my manako (or resolutions) for this Matariki is to encourage people to connect and make an intentional effort with their communities, whatever that looks like for them. My wish for Matariki is to create a thriving future for people and Te Taiao. This year, my efforts in work and personal capacities will be supporting others to get involved and find their people. 

When I think of my Oma, who we will be thinking of this Matariki, I think of the last line to Ancestors written by poet Nikita Gill, ‘be everything and make them proud’. What do you think your ancestors would be proud of? While I know I have a lot to learn, I do think that Oma would be proud of me. The wishes of our ancestors were mainly connected to the wellbeing of both people and the environment. We know that people are more confident and have a better sense of self when they find their community. Have you ever seen the different intersections within minorities? Have you reached out to your community? I hope that there are constantly more groups and places out there that support our people and that support people that need community and need that feeling of not being the only one.  

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