My D*List: Sav Wallis on being accepted for her unmasked self

My D*List is a series of profiles that allows us to get to know people from across disability communities in Aotearoa. We ask them to explore their hopes for the future (Dreams), what they like to do on a night in (Drama), their idea of a great night out (Disco), favourite food (Delicious) and the special friends and whānau in their world (Dates).

Dreams of relentless optimism

My dream for myself is to continue making the most of life and not lose my relentless optimism. I hope that I and the neurodiverse community are better understood by wider society and accepted for our true, unmasked selves. Not the digestible versions of ourselves the rest of the world can only muster to tolerate. I want Aotearoa to be a country that listens to the wishes of tāngata whenua, tāngata whaikaha, and tāngata kanorau ā-roro. And then, most importantly, do everything in their power to enact those wishes. I hope every neurodivergent individual loves every nook, cranny, and quirk that exists inside them... out loud. Lastly, I hope anybody and everybody who has ever felt different, ‘too much’ or like an outsider, have people in their life who enjoy, support and appreciate them for who they are without the mask.

Drama in relatable characters

When you are a teacher, you have more nights in than nights out and when you add being autistic on top of that, you desperately need that wind-down time to decompress at the end of each day. And THEN being a media studies nerd as well... watching television series became the perfect solution to the end-of-day dilemma.

I have watched a lot of different series; anything from crime to fantasy to sitcoms. I am currently (re)watching The Blacklist and New Girl. Ever since learning about neurodiversity, I have realised a lot of my favourite characters are either autistic-coded or ADHD-coded. I am sure you can guess what Nick and Winston from New Girl are.

I have also recently discovered audiobooks that I listen to on the Libby app because I wish I could be this avid reader but my brain struggles to stay focussed on the actual reading. I am currently reading Mindhunter - the epic but short-lived Netflix series is based on this book. I usually listen to these on my way home from work and when I force myself to cook dinner.

Disco with people who open my eyes

I am definitely not as social as I would like to be but honestly, people make the night. Whether it’s in or out, what matters to me is who I am with and what type of riveting conversations we will have. I simply enjoy being with people who open my eyes to something new, people I can be silly and embarrassing with, and people I can be vulnerable with. This doesn’t necessarily have to be someone I already know - it could be a total stranger. I relish the opportunity to meet new people and reconnect with my people because every time I talk to someone is an opportunity to walk away with a new nugget of information. Then have these little facts and stories from all the amazing, interesting, clever, funny, weird, and diverse people you have met. The best kind of memories.

Delicious in the form of fast food

God, I love food. Any time I get to eat is my favourite time of the day, I always say. However, I loathe cooking. I only do it because I have to eat. Fast food chains, takeaways, and junk food in general, are my weakness. I probably eat a burger at the very least once a week and at most four or five times a week. Here are my top takeaway orders:

●  BK Chicken with cheese and bacon regular combo, I usually get whatever fruity frozen flavour they have going. 
●  What I call the ‘Big Sav’ from Maccas = double cheeseburger, add bacon, takeout ketchup, and add Big Mac sauce. Trust me and try it.
●  A small Double Decker Teriyaki Chicken on Rice from St Pierre’s.
●  The best chicken and waffles from Peach’s Hot Chicken.
● Crunch wrap Supreme (Beef) from Taco Bell. I also recently tried their Cinnabells; I am an absolute simp for some cream cheese.
● Bacon Backfire and the crispy kūmara fries with BurgerFuel.

Dates: People who love my untypical personality

The people who mean the most to me are the people who love me for my untypical personality and have always seen my neurodiverse traits as positives. These people include: my darling ākonga, my reassuring work colleagues, my comforting besties, and the man of my dreams, Sammy. My aiga, but specifically my mum and dad are the reasons I have self-confidence and why I see my weirdness as something that makes me bloody awesome. I think my parents knew deep down I was different but I think they believed that’s what made me such a special kid to them and always believed I was going to do amazing things. I recently listened to ADHD 2.0 and in the audiobook, the psychiatrist author explains that one of the most important things parents can do for their ADHD child is regularly tell the child they love them and give them lots of positive reinforcement. I immediately started crying when I read this because my parents did just that. Everyday. I think my life could have been so much harder as a neurodivergent person if I did not have them as my parents and for that, I am forever grateful.