What do wheelchair users think about alcohol?

We don’t talk about it much, but alcohol is a big part of most people’s social lives, whether we want it that way or not. As disabled people, our relationship with alcohol can be more complicated for a whole bunch of reasons.

So let’s have the conversation. In this video series, we dive into ableist assumptions, those traumatic drink-driving ads, and how we feel about our relationships with alcohol.

Scott: There is obviously that joke of, oh God, the guy in a wheelchair is drunk and going along the road. But it's not great when you're trying to go to the movies after you've been out to dinner with a friend and it's like, oh, you know what? I've had two or three. Am I gonna be able to actually park my chair in the right place here?

Intro: If you’ve ever done a yardie or celebrated crate day, you’re probably familiar with our drinking culture here in Aotearoa. We don’t talk about it much, but alcohol is a big part of most people’s social lives, whether we want it that way or not. As disabled people, our relationship with alcohol can be more complicated for a whole bunch of reasons. So let’s have the conversation. In this 4-part series, we dive into ableist assumptions, those traumatic drink-driving ads, and how we feel about our relationships with alcohol.

Welcome to Alcohol Week!

Emma: Tell me about the first alcoholic drink you had.

Scott: It was probably one of those RTDs that you get in the can. It was a bourbon and coke. It was at a family friend's event. And I thought, okay, well, I like coke. So I'll go with that one. And so I did go with it. And it's been all downhill ever since.

Emma: Yeah, I honestly don't have clear memories of it. I mean, I feel like some sort of family friendly event, probably, I guess around 18, so probably around the time of turning 18 and not anything that was something I'd make a film about, I guess.

Scott: So we're not getting the hangover part four?

Emma: No, no, maybe 3.5.

Scott: Do you remember watching the traumatic alcohol ads on TV? Like the drink driving ads or ghost chips?

Emma: It's the sort of thing where you kind of want to look away, but you don't or I didn't.

Scott: It's not an ad, but the one that I remember very vividly, is the one from Police 10-7 with a guy who was just completely drunk and he was up on the curb and the police go up to him. He's just sitting in his car. He's completely out of it. And they're like, you know, what are you waiting for? You good mate? And he's like, oh, waiting for a mate. That's probably the one I remember the most.

Emma: Can't park there mate.

Scott: Can't park there mate.

Emma: Have you ever pretended to like the taste of an alcoholic drink to seem more grown up?

Scott: If I don't like something, I'll just pretty blatantly tell someone. No, what about you?

Emma: Sounds like the sort of thing I would have done. In a way I probably would try to finish it whatever it was.

Emma: Do you think a yardie is accessible or ableist?

Scott: I don't think it's ableist, but I don't think it's accessible. I mean, just thinking about it from my own perspective, I wouldn't be able to lift it up to do it on my own. But then again, I did have friends who were willing to help me do it, so I think it's all about who you're with at the time.

Emma: I hear what you're saying about it not being accessible, but not necessarily ableist, but I guess that just brings a question of if we're not making something intentionally accessible, whether that is sort of like a passive ableism or not. So, I mean, I don't think it's not accessible, not something I particularly want to be involved with, but maybe that speaks to a culture that's already not accessible that I'm looking into from the outside.

Scott: How often is there drinking involved when you're out with friends?

Emma: I'd go with the flow. So if it was accessible, then, you know, I'd go along on a night out. But I guess I do think pretty carefully around having a plan, like if I do have a few drinks and obviously won't drive, then what actually is my plan? Because, you know, sometimes there's a, maybe an extra step or two when you've actually got to come up with an accessible plan. Cause no point making it not accessible, if it's my plan.

Scott: Do you find that when you're out, and if you are having a drink, you are sort of conscious about how much you're actually drinking in terms of going to the public restroom or something like that

Emma: Yeah, I guess it's something that's, it's not always easy to predict. So normally I think it is just like a little bit awkward or just feeling just at least a little bit like, not exactly concerned, but suddenly it's like reality that you've got to find somewhere, doesn't really feel that safe, for example, to leave my wheelchair outside of somewhere while I use a bathroom if I can't get it in with me.

Scott: When I'm out with friends nowadays, I typically don't drink, I used to drink quite a lot. Nowadays, I don't really. In terms of the, you know, planning and everything, that was something that I found that I definitely had to consider because if I'd be out with friends and it's like, oh, you know what? I think I've drank a little bit too much. I need to go to the toilet. I'm not with anybody that's actually able to help me. What do I do in this situation? Do I have to go home early? Do I have to, you know, get someone who might be a very close friend to help me that I trust? Or do I just leave it, you know?

Emma: So do you ever set yourself like a drink limit on your nights out?

Scott: I ended up limiting it probably to about two or three.There is obviously that joke of, oh God, the guy in a wheelchair is drunk and going along the road. But it's not great when you're trying to go to the movies after you've been out to dinner with a friend and it's like, oh, you know what? I've had two or three. Am I gonna be able to actually park my chair in the right place here?

Emma: I think I'd leave it at two or three, but I think it, depends how I'm feeling on the day. I guess with drinking, it affects your whole body, right? Sometimes I know that I might actually experience increased pain, because I think alcohol increases your inflammation. So that's something that is important that I think about,

Scott: I sort of know from my own experience as well that taking medication, that also sort of impacts it as well. I take pain medication every day. And obviously the warning label on the box is, please don't mix with alcohol, but sometimes you kind of end up doing it, not excessively, but you want to go up as friends and you want to have a drink or two and it's normal, but you are very conscious of, oh God, what if that ends up being too much? What if, should I have a drink with this particular medication? Should I actually risk it or shouldn't I?

Scott: Have you ever known someone who's had a difficult relationship with alcohol?

Emma: I think there's probably so many different ways to have a difficult relationship with alcohol, whether it's difficult because of expectations, like maybe cultural ideas about alcohol, maybe pressure from others like, oh, will my friends still like me or will they laugh at me or will I be humiliated? So if someone is not addressing those sorts of questions or reflecting on how that impacts their drinking, I'd say that's a problem. But I think from the outside, it could be really hard to see or to know it's a problem, unless we've got that deeper insight into someone's lives. For example, considering whether is what I'm observing a one-off for them, it’s really important to be self-aware about our drinking because I honestly think if I was saying someone had a drinking problem, it would be hard to know where to start with examining my unconscious bias about what I'm observing.

Scott: Yeah, I mean, I've known a couple of friends who have had troubles with alcohol and have always tried to sort of be there and help them. Having had mental health issues and stuff myself, I've always been very conscious of the toll that that sort of stuff can take on a person. It’s very hard to know sort of who's just drinking because they like to drink as opposed to someone that's drinking for the wrong reasons.

Emma: I think if maybe I suspect there's something and I was thinking about talking to someone to ask them whether they're okay with their drinking, I think it's not the first thing I'd say to them, maybe checking, you know, how's their day going? What do they enjoy at the moment? And if they seem like they're down or not really coping well, then they may decide to talk about it afterwards. But I think actually in that situation, I'd want them to bring that up.

Scott: Yeah, because you don't want to pry, you don't want to push and you don't want to offend. And it's very much finding that balance as well between, you know, trying to be there for someone without trying to impose upon them.

Emma: Just keeping their empowerment and their autonomy. Yeah,

Scott: It’s about making sure that they know what they can share and about giving them the power to do that whether or not I would actually be able to help them, I mean, I hope I would be able to. I'm a good listener. My friends all come to me with their issues anyway. So I think that I would be okay with doing it. Yeah, what about you?

Emma: If someone felt they had an issue with drinking, it's often not an isolation, right? So I guess it would just be knowing what sort of role I might have. Like even in the short term, if they had some water, do they have a place to stay tonight? Do they have a way to get home safe? Then going forward, are they regularly touching base with someone and do they have a social support network? So almost looking at it through like Te Whare Tapa Whā, different elements of their wellbeing because drinking could affect any part of someone's wellbeing, right? But also knowing that I like to help people and like yourself to listen, knowing where it's important to just draw a bit of a line so that you know, I'm saving enough spoons and enough energy for my own wellbeing while supporting others.

Scott: Have you ever had someone assume that you don't drink or make any other assumption about you and alcohol because of your disability?

Emma: Well, there was this one time I was out with someone, I was drinking water, I think they were doing a bit of a pub crawl and we're going from one place to the next and so me and a friend, we get into my car and then very shortly after, there's police behind us they said, "Did you know that your warrant and your rego are out?" They weren't out, but I think because I was walking, I don't always walk completely straight that maybe they thought I'd been drinking and maybe they saw me get in my car. Interesting to lead with the warrant rego line when obviously neither of those were out.

Scott: I had a lot of people over the years that will assume that I don't drink and a lot of the time it's because they think I'm younger than what I actually am, especially if I don't have a beard or anything at the time, And then you bring the disability aspect into it, like, oh, is the guy in the wheelchair allowed to drink? Are we allowed to do that? Not always a fun conversation to have with someone who sort of makes those assumptions.

Producer: Do you think people's assumptions of whether you drink or your relationship to alcohol, do you think those assumptions have affected your drinking?

Scott: The drinking itself, not so much. Who I drink with, probably yes, and the locations in which I would drink. I wouldn't necessarily spend as much time or drinking at a bar but if I'm out with friends, and it's something like a restaurant or whatever, less likely for there to be those sorts of questions.

Emma: I feel like the friends that I have probably haven't been that big into going out drinking and that sort of bar culture, but I feel like it's hard to ever fully know, maybe people that I know and friends and groups have been part of going out drinking and just not inviting me and I never know. I mean, it could happen, could happen, I accept that, but I guess it's trying to understand the reasons why, like again, that unconscious bias, thinking that, oh, we probably wouldn't wanna come anyway, but actually the issue is the environment and the access to get there and the planning and everything that goes along with that. So I think it could be pretty complicated, I don't think we solve any of those access issues if we're looking at it that way.

Scott: If you have a really good group of friends that really do know you and they know your access needs and stuff like that, then it's a hell of a lot easier. I mean, not just with drinking, but with everything really. But if you're with people that you don't know, if you're with people that are brand new to your situation, brand new to your life, then that can also be a little bit daunting.

Emma: Yeah, absolutely.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to make sure you catch the rest of the episodes, coming out daily this week.