'Forms and forms and forms': Getting your Licence to Drive as a disabled person

Licence to Drive star Ryan Bohea talks to D*List editor Olivia Shivas about learning to drive as a disabled person while sharing the qualms of filling in so many forms and why he doesn't put stickers on his wheelchair.

Listen to the podcast interview between Ryan Bohea and Olivia Shivas, or read the transcript below.

Olivia Shivas: Okay. Kia ora, my name is Olivia. I am the editor at The D*List. And thank you, Ryan, for joining me today.

Ryan Bohea: Thank you very much for having me. It's a pleasure. It's a pleasure.

OS: Today we are here to talk a little bit about Licence to Drive, which is a new TV show that you’re part of. What is it about? How did you get involved?

RB: I got introduced to the producer, Jai, when I was doing this table tennis thing. So basically, it was somewhere out in Manukau. That was crazy how I signed up for that. Just completely different. I just used a lot of transport, like trains and stuff like that to get there, like two hours to get there, just to play some table tennis, knock some balls around with the paddle.
But yeah, I met him. And then he told me that he's doing, like, a little project—that's all he called it. Like, “Oh, it’s a project.” And then I was like, “Well, it’s one hell of a project, fuck, like, look where we are.” Can I swear?

OS: Yeah, too late now.

RB: Yeah. One hell of a fucking project. But, yeah. I didn’t have a clue what it was. I did like a little clip on his phone, just to show his other associates what it would look like and see if I was good on camera and stuff like that. And then he really liked it. And then he told me I should do it, and I said, “Oh, yeah, sure, I’ll be keen for it.” And then I remember when they came to my house for the first time, there was this massive camera just right at the door. And I was like, “Oh shit, this is like a thing. This is like a TV show.” Not just like a little project, like I thought.

OS: Bit different from the phone.

RB: Yes.

OS: It was very different from an on-the-spot audition.

RB: Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah, yeah.

OS: He tricked you into it.

RB: In the parking lot with the camera. And I was like, “Oh, I guess this is cute.” And then here we are now. I’m like, “Oh shit.”

OS: So Licence to Drive is about disabled people learning to drive. What’s that been like for you?

RB: It’s been a journey. It’s been amazing. I think we started filming before I even knew that I was going to get my funding.

OS: For your vehicle?

RB: Yeah, for my vehicle. I applied to Lotto for a grant to get my van. I didn’t even know if I was going to get it or not. And I think they were able to capture that moment when I got it on camera. It was when I had my phone and I was talking to the guy. It was a real authentic reaction. Yeah, it was insane. Just having something so pivotal for my life being caught on camera.

OS: Yeah. I mean, being able to drive gives you so much independence. Like, it’s a big difference to, like, two hours to get to table tennis.

RB: Oh my God. I mean, I’m too busy for my own good. A car helps me so much for that. Yeah.

OS: And in terms of, I guess, modifications and things like that— I remember for me, like when I was looking for a car that could suit my needs and my disability and wheelchair and everything, it took quite a while to figure out what would work. I feel like I tried so many different types and saw so many different types of disabled people drive.
I really needed something quite bespoke because I’m not strong enough to lift or fold my chair, but I can-

RB: Bespoke, what a lovely word to use.

OS: Yeah. My car is so bespoke. Just got suitable adaptations. “Bespoke” sounds way nicer.

RB: No, that’s lovely. A lovely word. It just caught me off guard there.

OS: So yeah, it took me a while to figure out what kind of pedals I could push with my feet, if I needed hand controls. What was it like for you to figure all that out?

RB: Yeah, because I was a bit worried. There was a lot of real specific stuff that I needed, and some of the stuff I was worried I might not even get funding for - too expensive. Like, light steering. I wanted lighter steering on my van.

OS: Oh yeah.

RB: But it’s funny because sometimes being disabled, some of your expectations about what you can do are so different. Like, what you think you can’t do, you actually can.
It’s funny because when I got the car, we drove it around, we did a test. I think there’s a clip of me using the trucker’s thing. We tried all that, and-

OS: I watched that episode, I think, and it was quite challenging to do with one arm.

RB: Yeah.

OS: I also tried one of those spinners.

RB: Yeah, yeah.

OS: And I also found it too hard to do with one arm.

RB: Yeah, way too hard. Yeah.

OS: To turn. I remember the driving instructor being like, “Okay, sharper, sharper.” And I was like, “I’m trying.”

RB: Yeah, I think I said as well, “I’ve got to be a fucking wrestler or weightlifter to-”

OS: Yeah, our muscular dystrophy arms are no good here.

RB: No. But yeah, I thought there was gonna be so many more adaptations I’d need: light steering, the chair to come in a different way. Because the one I was testing was one without the specific suitable adaptations. But I mean, just from the last guy that had his adaptations, it turns out I got the funding. That’s crazy. I got enough funding to get the van as it was, but I didn’t get enough funding for the specific stuff that I needed.

OS: Right.

RB: And then I got the car and I was like, “Oh, I should go for more funding.” But then I was like, “Oh, fuck it, it’s just not that hard to drive.” So, it’s a bit annoying, but like—

OS: Don’t want to fill in another form.

RB: Yeah. I don’t want to fucking do that. So I just kept it the same way, and it’s fine. That’s fine.
Even now my mum asks me, “Oh, you need this, you need this.” I’m like, “I actually don’t even need it. I’m doing fine without it.” And if I had the money funded, I’d probably spend it on other things because yeah, I thought I’d need it to be really light, I’d need the seat to be like this.
No. This is what normal cars are like. I don’t need all that fancy stuff.

OS: So now that you’ve got your car, your van, where are you driving? What are you doing?

RB: A lot. A lot. I’ve become a taxi man for all my mates now.

OS: Are you charging?

RB: No.

OS: You should be charging for that.

RB: I should be charging. Well, sometimes they leave some beers in the car, I find them in the morning.

OS: We’re going to play a game.

RB: Oh yeah?

OS: Called Red Flag, Green Flag. It’s not that risky. But we want your hot takes.

RB: That’s why you got me.

OS: Yeah. Are you— how’s the flag waving? Can you do a practice? Yeah. Nice. Great. Thank you.

RB: What if I broke both of them, that was pretty extreme that way. Oh, fuck.

OS: Okay, so we’ve got some hot takes. And you’ve got to wave red flag or green flag. And we want to hear what you think. So, kind of driving related: Telling people who park in mobility parks without a permit.

RB: Red flag, red flag. Because I haven't always been in a wheelchair. And I'm a little git sometimes as well. I do some cheeky stuff. Like, I don't even have a permit right now.

OS: Oh, don’t you?

RB: No, I don't.

OS: Why don’t you get one of those?

RB: It’s just too much work. I'm doing one now. Another form? Yeah. Another form. You have to post it. Life as a disabled c***: it's just forms and forms and forms. So many. But, yeah. No, I just don’t really care. I mean, you could be funny with it and play a trick. Because I had a similar situation with- I go to the spa every Wednesday in GI. Yeah, and then the disabled toilets, they’re always used by someone who's just not disabled.

OS: Yeah, yeah.

RB: But my mates and I decided to play a trick. We knocked on the door then as it opened I acted way more disabled than I was. I thought that was the funniest shit ever. And he comes out, "Oh sorry bro, why’d you do this to me?" But no, I think it's just like you’re going out of your way to- I don't know… telling someone is good, then yelling at someone or making their day worse — I mean, you have the right, but I don't know. I wouldn't do it.

OS: Okay. You're a red flag for that. Yeah. I mean, I would still encourage you to fill in a form to get the mobility permit — so handy. Christmas time at Sylvia Park: no carparks except those mobility parks.

RB: You can just park there… Anyway.

OS: I guess you can.

RB: Everyone just parks there?

OS: Someone who looks at your van will be like, “Oh yeah, that guy's disabled!”

RB: But surely. Yeah. Oh, one thing I didn't mention: I actually was in the library and parked in the disabled parking. I went inside, got some food or something, came back and saw a ticket officer giving me a ticket. And he was mid-writing it. I walked over to him, and he sees me and cracks up. He was like, “Oh sorry, brother where’s your permit?” I said I haven’t got one. He said, “Yeah, you need to get one, but I’ll write it off this time.” I’m like, thank God for that.

OS: So you were lucky you caught him in time. Next one: Red flag or green flag? “When people say ‘we’ll just carry you in.’ ”

RB: Yeah, fuck that. Oh my fucking straight up. I hate that - I mean, I’ve been to so many parties. I’ll have mates completely shitfaced helping me down stairs — they’re drunk, seeing triple, let alone the stairs. And there’s three of them to help me down, and I’m like, oh my days. And I was in Danny Doolan’s in town and one of my mates carried me down. They dropped me out of my chair, rolled me down some stairs, I smacked my head.

OS: Oh my gosh.

RB: Yeah. I didn’t feel anything; I was very drunk. One moment I’m in the chair thinking, “Oh fuck,” and next moment I'm like, “What the fuck just happened — I’m on the ground?”

OS: Okay - yeah, I agree. I don't like it either.

RB: Yeah.

OS: Next one: Marmite on toast with no butter.

RB: It’s gross. You don’t like Marmite in general? Do you prefer Vegemite or Promite - any of the mites?

RB: No, mites - I hate all of them.

OS: I mean, my butter-to-Marmite ratio is out of—

RB: Are you a Marmite lover?

OS: I love lots of butter though.

RB: Do you, do you like Marmite?

OS: Yeah.

RB: Oh, me too. I love Marmite.

OS: Oh, now you do! Hahaha.

RB: I feel like I shit on Marmite a bit too hard for you to just come around.

OS: Okay. Next, red flag or green flag: being called inspiring.

RB: Green flag. Yeah, green flag. I think it’s bad to be a person who says, “Is he only saying that because I’m disabled?” Or, “Are you letting me go first because I’m not disabled?” It’s like chivalry.

OS: Chivalrous, same category as bespoke.

RB: Really? Oh wow. Yeah. Being chivalrous and inspired, I think you get more enjoyment just accepting it as it is and not overthinking it. Like, I got called “golden inspiration” the other day by an old teacher. I saw that as something that meant a lot, instead of being like, “Oh, inspiration.” Yeah, green flag.

OS: Nice.

RB: If someone actually knows you, that’s quite nice.

OS: Yeah. Cool. Next: wearing shoes inside the house.

RB: That’s a funny one.

OS: Kind of like a mind trick. If you don’t walk, does it really matter?

RB: Oh my God — funny story. I went to my girlfriend’s homestay — they were exchange students. She said, “We take our shoes off.” I thought that was respectful, so I did. It’s principle, you know? Show respect. But I was laughing thinking, “My wheels — my chair — is gonna mark the floor!” And then people ask if they should take shoes off at my house — I don't. I just leave them on.

OS: Maybe it depends on the context.

RB: Oh wait, I haven’t given the flag yet.

OS: Yeah, flag?

RB: Just in general, I'll say it's a good thing you take shoes off — no excuses. Even if you're disabled — take your damn shoes off.

OS: Okay. Next: people trying to cure you on the street.

RB: Oh, that takes me back. One guy followed me on a bus from Newmarket to Panmure on his bike, doing some mission. I looked back from the window wondering why he was following me. When we got off, he said he was religious. This was at 11pm. He wanted to help me walk home. At first I thought I’d try the prayer — free prayer, take what I can get. Then he asked, “Can I touch your legs?” And I was like, “Whoa whoa whoa.” He apologised, I said it’s all good. Luckily I’ve got flatmates who do MMA, so I'm safe.

OS: So flag?

RB: Red flag. We don’t need to be healed.

OS: And it’s good you’ve got a car now - no more people following you on the bus, yeah?

RB: No, and I’ll run them over (laughs).

OS: Okay. Last one: stickers on your wheelchair.

RB: Disgusting. I hate stickers anywhere. I have a legit phobia. When I was in primary school, certificates came with those little reward stickers. Kids thought it’d be funny to make a sticker sandwich: two pieces of bread, butter, and a sticker. I thought it was free lunch, bit it, and puked because the idea was so gross. I’ve disliked them ever since.

OS: Oh no.

RB: Ever since then, when there’s an award ceremony and someone tries to give me a sticker, I say "no, thank you."

OS: That’s funny because I was about to offer you some D*List stickers, but I won’t in this case. But if you didn’t have your phobia, you could look at them from a distance.

RB: No, they look good.

OS: Look from a distance, don’t worry I won’t stick them on your chair. If you were to engage with a sticker, which one would it be and where would you stick it?

RB: Okay, what about the “Straight out of D*List” one?

OS: It’s still in the works, but would you do that one?

RB: Probably not. Honestly, the cleanest looking one would be the black-and-white “thedlist.co.nz” one. It’s super clean. The “Not Accessible” one — that’s a statement.

OS: Yeah, that’s pretty bold. Where’d you put that?

RB: On the back of my car, but I wouldn’t actually use that one. The black one looks cool and clean.

OS: Nice.

RB: “The list you want to be on.”

OS: Well, thank you for being on The D*List, Ryan. It’s been so good to chat. So stoked to hear about your car and careful on the roads.

RB: I’ll try to be, no promises though.

You can watch Licence to Drive on Sky Go and NEON.