'I like being carried, especially when they're handsome': Sophia and Indy on their new webseries

Listen to the podcast interview between Sophia Malthus, Indy Henman and Olivia Shivas, or read the transcript below.

Olivia: Kia ora. Welcome to this podcast at The D*List. My name is Olivia. I am the editor and I'm joined by Soph and Indy who star on the new season of This Is Wheel Life. So welcome. 

Soph: Thank you. Thanks for having us. 

Olivia: Tell us a bit about the show and this new season. Give us a sneak peek.

Soph: Yeah I guess we're kind of following on from season one where every episode was a different aspect of being a young person with a physical disability and so now we're just taking that further and doing more subjects on this one. So we do some cool ones, what's your favourite? 

Indy: Well we went to Australia which was pretty exciting to show international travel with a disability but kind of the whole theme of season two was that we matured a little bit more from season one so our themes got a little bit more adult I guess.

Soph: Like we went to an obstetrician 

Indy: Which is what-

Olivia: Adults do

Soph: Exactly

Indy: I didn’t even know what an obstetrician was until this episode. It’s everything babies 

Soph: And pregnancy. I think it’s a little bit fertility as well, maybe

Olivia: Cool. And I guess at The D*List, we like to share, you know, replenishing stories that validate disabled people and our experiences. So why did you guys make the show? Like, who did you make it for?

Indy: Everyone. 

Soph: Honestly everyone. Honestly everyone. I'll roll down the street and the most random people will stop me and be like I watched your show. It's so weird like because I guess I kind of thought that it'd be more young people and disabled people but it's

Soph: Everyone. 

Indy: Everyone. But also it was intended for everyone because what we wanted to do was show a more lighthearted look into disability and just kind of put a bit of a stop to some of the stereotypes that people, you know, think about disabled life. So, you know, that's the general population really that we're wanting to reach.

Olivia: Cool. And so talking about being stopped on the street, tell me some other funny things that people stop you on the street for.

Indy: Oh, that would be you. 

Olivia: You don't get stopped on the street Indy?

Indy: You know what? Only when I'm helping Soph and people think I look too weak to be doing it on my own.

Soph: Actually, no, when we were in Mexico, Indy got, I think people thought that Indy was my interpreter because she looks a little bit Mexican. 

Indy: Yeah, that's true. 

Soph: And people were going out to her and speaking Espanol. She was like, the only thing she could say, “no Espanol”. 

Indy: And “Corona”. When ordering our drinks, that's it. 

Soph: But what do I get stopped for? I mean, lots of people ask me about like the light on my wheels. 

Olivia: Oh yeah, same, because we've got the same wheels. 

Soph: Yeah, and like it depends who it is and sometimes I'm like, oh the lights represent how happy I am that day or like how good looking I am today. 

Olivia: I'm going to add that to my bag because I should use those. I'm just like, oh, it just shows how much battery is left. Boring. 

Soph: Boring. Yeah. What's another thing I get stopped for?

Indy: Help a lot 

Soph: Oh yeah like Indy will be getting into a car and like the smallest old frail man will come up and be like do you want help and we're like it's so sweet but what are you gonna do like throw me in the car yeah it's real sweet though it is it is nice yeah.

Olivia: So tell me about some moments out filming This Is Wheel Life. You went to Australia, anything funny, spicy, behind the scenes that we won't see on screen? We want the goss. 

Soph: Not so spicy because they're cousins. 

Indy: It can only get so spicy. 

Soph: But there was the Huntsman.

Indy: Yeah. Okay, this was actually traumatising. We were in our hotel room getting ready for the day, and there was a huntsman spider in Soph's room, and as the carer, that's my job to deal with, and I'm the one with like a massive spider phobia. 

Soph: Hold on, you've got to set the scene that I was in bed naked. 

Indy: Yeah, yeah, Soph, we hadn't got dressed yet, so...

Indy: Yeah it was a disaster we had to call our cameraman to come up and help us and so we actually got in a bit of an argument because Soph was like you have to get all my bags out of the room and I was like I was so scared I couldn't do anything. 

Indy: I gave her a few options because I didn't want to take the Huntsman back to New Zealand right? 

Olivia: You can't, I don't think you can. 

Soph: Well I'd get fined like 500 bucks. 

Olivia: Yeah at least. Border patrol they're pretty strict. 

Indy: Right it would have been caught before you got fined and it's not your fault. Anyway she kept saying it's a biosecurity issue so you have to get it out.

Soph: So my options that I was giving Indy is you either have to get me dressed real quickly and then we like evict. Or you need to carry me naked to your bedroom. 

Olivia: Down the hallway? 

Soph: Yeah, down the hallway. We were in different bedrooms. And then Indy decided

Indy: No, no, no. But option one was out of- You know, I couldn't do option one. Like, I couldn't get you dressed because your bags were so close to the spider. Like, and they can outrun humans. They're so fast. 

Olivia: How big? Can you show me, like, how big are they? Whoa! 

Indy: That's approaching. Huge. 

Olivia: That's like 20 centimetres wide, you're describing. Oh, yeah. 15, 20 centimetres wide. 

Indy: Honestly, if you don't believe me, Google them. They're huge. 

Olivia: Okay, I didn't realise they were that big. 

Indy: They don't even need to, um, this is a fun fact, they don't need to make nests to catch their prey because they can just outrun and catch them. Isn't that awful? 

Olivia: So what happened in the end? Please tell me you went down the hallway naked. 

Indy: Yes, that's exactly what happened. 

Soph: Adrenaline, honestly. Adrenaline. 

Indy: I've never been able to just scoop you up like that and just run at that speed. I think I whacked your head into the wall a couple of times. It was like a movie. Like, if you're picturing it being really dramatic, it was that. 

Soph: Yeah, and then she like literally put me on her bed. I was half hanging off her bed, like my feet were on the ground. And she was like, I'm leaving you here, I've got to shut the door. So she shuts, she runs down the hallway and shuts my bedroom door so the huntsman's contained. And then we hear a knock and thank goodness the cameraman came and saved us and he like, I think he put like towels under the door so it couldn't come out and stuff and open the windows. Yeah.

Olivia: And then did you call room service to collect your- what happened?

Soph: Oh, we were leaving in like an hour anyway. 

Indy: Yeah, we were checking out luckily. It would have been in there the whole time we were there. 

Olivia: Oh, in the room. Yeah. Those few days. Oh, yikes.

Soph: And then I had that I had a bite on my leg as well.

Indy: Yeah, probably a spider bite. It was the huntsman. Spider girl, probably. 

Soph: That was probably the spiciest Australia got. Yeah. Thank goodness. 

Olivia: And so you two are siblings, no, not siblings, cousins. Pretty much. Cousins. And I know for a lot of disabled people that kind of like, there's a bit of a grey area between kind of like the relationship with your carer. How do you make it work? Like, how did you guys talk about boundaries and that kind of thing? 

Indy: Um, we didn't really. 

Soph: Nah, the first day that Indy came to work for me, I was like, okay, you're about to see me naked, but you're like, you're going to see me naked every time you see me. So get used to it. And Indy's like, okay, sweet. And then, yeah. Yeah.

Indy: You didn't really even give me a job description, honestly. 

Soph: Would you not have started working for me? 

Indy: I don't know. I think it would have freaked me out. Yeah. But anyway, it was fine. But in terms of boundaries with like the carer/client stuff, I feel like we have a pretty good system where it's like if I'm on the clock, I'm a carer and there's no differential treatment expected. You know, it's just I do what your other carers do. Would you say?

Soph: Yeah, I was thinking about this the other day, like, all of my carers, I have a pretty comfortable relationship with them anyway, like, if anyone's doing something that I don't like, I'd be fine to tell them, and then I'm fine to give them, like, their little privileges kind of thing. Like, there's, I don't, you know, only let Indy go get a coffee because she's my cousin, like, I'd let all of them go get a coffee kind of thing. So, I think it's fine. 

Indy: Yeah, I think it works. 

Soph: Yeah, and it's really good for family holidays. Yeah. Because I'm not taking a stranger. Yeah.

Olivia: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be a different vibe. How about advice for other people who are trying to have a carer for the first time? What kind of advice would you give them? Or they've got a bit of a tricky relationship with carers? 

Soph: I mean, when I first got out of hospital, so I was 19 when I broke my neck, and then I transitioned out of hospital into the community, as they call it. My parents’ lounge. And I was just given carers that did not make me feel like I wanted to leave the house, like it was obvious if I went to the mall with them, it was obvious that they were paid to be with me. It would be an older lady and it’s just random and so I spoke to my caregiving agency and I just made it real thing that I want to have young people so I feel I can go out and not be weird.

Olivia: To advocate for your needs. 

Soph: Yeah. Like if you have a carer that you don't like and you have the ability to swap them, swap them. But if you live in a small town, that sucks. You don't have many options.

Olivia: Hey, I thought we'd play a game of red flag, green flag. So if you pick up your flags, I've got some prompts on my cards about different scenarios and I want you to wave red flag, green flag. Can you just do a little practice just to see? Okay, green flag, red flag. Okay, nice. Good. 

Soph: Can you tell we’re related?

Olivia: Okay, so I'll go through these and then see if you agree or disagree. Because some you may agree or you may disagree. It could get interesting. Okay, one of them is, and some of them may not be relevant to you, but just answer anyway.

Indy: Go for it.

Olivia: Okay, when people say, we'll just carry you in.

Soph: Oh, green flag. Okay. I love being carried. 

Olivia: Okay, why? 

Soph: Especially if they’re handsome. 

Olivia: It helps. 

Indy: Yeah. It's one of Soph's conditions for dating. She's like, they must be strong enough to carry me. 

Soph: Also, it's my condition for who she's dating.

Indy: Yeah, that's true. Okay, yeah. Any funny, ‘we can carry you in stories’.

Indy: Mexico? So when we were in Mexico visiting my parents, my parents were like, by the way, Mexicans never say no. It's always a yes. Okay. So we rung up this restaurant and we're like, is it wheelchair accessible? Oh yeah, it's wheelchair accessible. We turn up, do you reckon 80 stairs? 

Indy: So many stairs.

Olivia: Oh my gosh. 

Indy: All concrete, all like so steep and tall. 

Soph: Yeah. And then these three Mexican men, Mexicans are very small. They were like just a little bit taller than me, carried me up and it was horrible. I could hear them go, ah! And I was like, I'm dying tonight, like 100%.

Olivia: I know, it is funny when you do get lifted and they go huh, and you're like, oh, can you please not be that loud?

Indy: It's like, don't show me that you're weak, just pretend you've got this. 

Soph: It's a conditional green flag. Okay. If they're good, green. If they're not good, so red. Okay, okay. 

Olivia: Red flag or green flag? Catheters. Green flag? Why pro catheter?

Soph: Because my bladder doesn't work.

Indy: Because her bladder doesn't work.

Soph: I'm pretty sure I would die if I didn't have a catheter. 

Olivia: Okay. What are the other perks of having a catheter? 

Soph: You can pee whenever you want. Well, wherever you want. 

Indy: Road trips. Not having to stop

Soph: Not having to stop. Not having to move out of your seat when you’re on a plane. 17-hour flight I’m just peeing the whole time.

Indy: There’s actually a lot of perks, I find myself jealous of that frequently.

Olivia: Pee wherever you want, whenever you want. Okay. Red flag or green flag? Telling off people who park in mobility parks without a permit.

Soph: Green flag. But also dangerous. 

Olivia: Yes, why dangerous? 

Soph: Because retaliation. 

Olivia: Have you been in a situation with retaliation before?

Soph: No, but I know someone that has. 

Olivia: Oh dear. Yeah, I wish I was brave enough to, but then I feel like the people who would park in a mobility car park are not the most agreeable type, which would be like, ‘sure thing, I'll move. I'm so sorry I did the wrong thing’. 

Indy: You have to be real tactful about it. Yeah. I would do it, not you, I guess. Yeah.

Soph: Even I've been pulled up by disability parking warriors. Because when you see me in the car, I don't look like I'm disabled.

Soph: Yeah, I have as well, by police officer. 

Soph: Wow. 

Olivia: And then I was like, oh, look in the back window, there's a wheelchair, look, look, look. And they just walked away. I was like, wait five minutes for me to get out. I was like, wait five minutes for me to get out of my car. I'd be like, no. Yeah, I think, what's my technique now? Like, if I really need to park, I'd be like, oh, hey, do you have your mobility permit? Or like, have you forgotten, have you put it up? Or have you forgotten it? Or like that kind of thing. Like, assume they do, that they forgot it, because that's probably the more generous offer. 

Soph: True. That's very good of you. We're learning from you.

Indy: Yeah, we're going to remember that. 

Olivia: Okay, red flag or green flag? Online dating. Green flag. Why green flag? 

Soph: Because I've met everyone that I work with and study with, and I don't want to marry any of them.

Indy: Fair. 

Soph: What's your reasoning? 

Indy: I don't know. It clearly works for some people. And it's just modern day dating, right? Yeah. Go with the times. 

Olivia: There's an episode with you guys doing dating or speed dating. How did that go? I've never done that before. 

Indy: It was awful. I hated it. 

Soph: We can't tell if we got any matches right because that would be spoiling it. 

Indy: True. You have to watch the episode. Okay.

Indy: I was very stressed. There's a wee spoiler.

Olivia: I mean, I think that would sound stressful.

Soph: I thought it was fun. 

Indy: Watch the episode, see how it went. 

Olivia: Okay, well, the last little segment of this conversation is, we have these D*List stickers, and I want to know what one appeals to you, and where would you put it? So we've got some that say, disabled and defiant, disabled and delicious, a few disabled ones, one that says not accessible, one with the website name.

Soph: Oh, you've made it really hard for me because I don't like the colour red, so I'm going to go with the blue one.

Olivia: Blue one, that just says disabled. Where would you put it?

Soph: Forehead. 

Olivia: How about you, Indy? 

Indy: They're all cool. I like disabled and delicious. I think that's fun. Yeah. 

Olivia: That's a bit spicy. 

Soph: Unfortunately, you don't qualify. 

Olivia: The delicious bit. You can just cut out the delicious bit. Cool. Well, I'm very much looking forward to seeing the show and meeting your obstetrician. I'm trying to spell that in my head. That's quite hard to spell. Anyway, and learn a lot about pregnancy.

Soph: Hopefully. 

Olivia: But yeah, all the best for the show and thanks for coming on. 

Soph: Thanks for having us. 

Indy: Thanks for having us. 

This is Wheel Life series 2 is available to watch now on the TAHI YouTube channel and on rnz.co.nz/video