My D*List: Vixen Temple on being a hopeless optimist and burning the patriachy

My D*List is a series of profiles that allows us to get to know people from across disability communities in Aotearoa. We ask them to explore their hopes for the future (Dreams), what they like to do on a night in (Drama), their idea of a great night out (Disco), favourite food (Delicious) and the special friends and whānau in their world (Dates).

Dreams: A future of freedom

Call me a hopeless optimist, but I dream of a future free of patriarchal and colonial restraints. A world where we embrace and celebrate feminine attributes: where being attuned with nature and your emotions is the norm, highly sensitive people aren’t looked down upon and treated as an inconvenience, and where we prioritise community. I want to live in a queer commune that follows the cycles of nature. We would honour the lunar cycle, the Maramataka. We would share resources instead of hoarding for a select few. I dream of a world without puritanical ideology, instead we celebrate sexuality in all of its beautiful forms. Burn the patriarchy!

Drama: The comfort of horror

On nights that I’m able to stay in, I greatly enjoy lighting a scented candle, switching on my fairy lights and either reading a good book or watching one of my comfort shows/films. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Film, Media and Theatre so I am a self proclaimed film nerd. Horror is my favourite genre, as I love how political horror can be. It’s a genre where you can explore the darkest aspects of life. As a queer woman living with disabilities, I know society sees me as an outsider. Therefore I often find myself resonating with horror movie monsters. As well as this, I greatly enjoy reading about my special interests: sex magic, the occult, astrology and tarot.

Disco: Dancing as meditation

Due to having the combined ADHD type, I find it very difficult to meditate. That is until I properly understood this practise, and realised that dancing is a form of meditation. My ideal night out is dancing at gay bars surrounded by my chosen whānau. When I dance, I can feel my mana rising within me. I am somehow both present in my body, whilst in another realm. I feel the energy of everyone around me, tuning in to those who I love and transmuting our mana through the art of movement. I connect to the music and allow my body to do what it feels called to do. This helps me greatly as someone who spends way too much time inside my head. Sometimes, I just need to let my brain rest by moving and connecting to my body. If I’m not dancing at gay bars with my friends, I’m at home connecting to my ancestors and to myself through the tarot.

Delicious: Indulgent but gluten and dairy-free

I have celiacs disease and IBS, so I find eating at restaurants too much of a risk for my health. This is arguably my greatest disability: my intense dietary restrictions combined with my ADHD make feeding myself a difficult task. Cooking is something that brings me great stress. However! I have learnt a few dishes that I don’t mind making. I love nachos, spaghetti bolognese (using gluten free pasta is not fun!) and homemade vegan/gluten free burgers. When my sweet tooth kicks in, I am obsessed with Half Baked Catering. They make delicious gluten and dairy-free food that melts in my mouth. Every bite takes me to Aphrodite’s temple, where I can indulge in pleasure without shame.

Dates: My chosen whānau and mum

My mother means everything to me. She raised me and my siblings as a single mum, teaching me to embrace my quirks and to be proud of the things that make me different. She didn’t try to dictate the direction of my life; instead she encouraged me to pursue my goals even if they didn’t make sense to her or to other’s. When I came out to my mum as queer, non monogamous and a sex worker she was happy for me. She said “I always tried to raise you to follow your dreams, even if others were telling you your dreams are wrong.” Well mother, mission accomplished! My drag/sex work/disabled/queer whanaungatanga also mean the world to me. I am very lucky to be someone who has found a community with like minded folk, and I value them greatly. Family is not blood, family is love. And my chosen whānau has granted me the aroha and community my inner teen greatly needed. I also love my cat, Oberon Temple. Oberon is my familiar. He chose me and I am forever grateful to have him in my life.