My pride is the collective strength of our communities

I had just spent 90 minutes delivering disability training at a professional development course. 

I talked about shifting away from the medical model of disability towards the social and rights model of disability, and the problematic narrative of the ‘inspiring disabled person’ . 

At the end of the training, one of the attendees came up to me and said they were inspired when I said I was a proud disabled person. 

I thought: ‘Were you even listening to what I said?!’. 

I didn’t have the witty response I often wish I had in these situations. But if I did have more time, this is what I would have said instead.

Firstly, I would ask why she thought I was inspiring.

I wondered if she would think the same if I said I was proud to be a woman or proud to be Japanese.

The answer is probably no.

I think it’s because disability is still perceived as something negative, therefore, when someone is proud of being a disabled person, it makes the person ‘inspiring’. 

Maybe she thought I must be strong to be proud of what is seen as a negative identity.

But then I also questioned myself. 

Why did I say I’m a proud disabled person in my introduction when I don’t specifically mention my other identities? 

I realised I said this because I wanted to challenge people’s perspective that being disabled is a negative thing. 

What is challenging is how disability is perceived by nondisabled people and the structural and interpersonal barriers disabled people experience. 

Most of what I find hard is the attitude of needing to be ‘independent’ and how the environment is built without access. 

But I realised that without explaining why I am proud, it can attract comments like hers. 

So, here is why I am proud.

To be honest, it took some time for me to feel this way. 

Despite having a mother with the same disability, when I was younger I didn’t want to be seen as “disabled”.

I avoided being seen with other disabled people. I wanted to be seen as “normal”. 

When I was at school a classmate said  she didn’t want to be my friend because she was afraid of being excluded by other classmates if she was seen hanging out with me. 

I was shocked and this led me to reflect on my judgement towards my own community, and encouraged me to move away from my internal ableism. 

I found more disabled friends when I started university. 

Knowing that my experience is often shared with others gave me strength. 

It also opened my world to learn the wisdom of my community. 

In my third year of university, I had an opportunity to do a social work placement at an inclusive art studio. 

The artists there with learning disabilities taught me what it means to create a safe space.

I also know the reason why I can live the way I do now is because of the advocacy of many other disabled people, including my mother, who have paved the way.

It gives me hope to know how the world has changed thus far. 

When my mum was younger, the only places disabled people lived in Japan were either their family homes or institutions. 

However, my mum and other disabled people said they didn’t want that anymore and led an independent living movement. 

They left their homes and institutions and recruited people on the street to become their volunteers to support them at home, which eventually led to the creation of the paid support work system in Japan.

This movement was driven by a perspective that society needs to change for disabled people to live, rather than disabled people having to be “fixed” (through medical intervention) to fit into society.

I’m grateful to know this collective strength and wisdom that has shaped my life.

Another reason why I am proud is because I like the experiences my disabled body brings to me. This feels like a scary and dangerous thing to say, because it can easily be taken as ‘inspirational’ and it can also erase the fact that it can be challenging and painful to be in this body as well. 

However, my mum raised me with the perspective that we all need support to live, and that having our disability makes our need for support very visible and that is a good thing. 

I am proud because my body reminds me of the importance of relationships and connections with other people everyday. 

While this reality can be a headache sometimes, on the other hand, I know I can do everything if I have people around me. This knowledge has been the source of my energy and initiative, and I thank my mum and body for reminding me of this knowledge everyday.

Lastly, but not the least, having a disability is a natural part of human experience. 

I wish one day we won’t even have to mention being ‘a proud disabled person’. 

But we are not there yet. 

I still don’t have the witty response I wished I had at the training, but until then, I will talk about how and why I am a proud disabled person.