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A purse, Labubu dolls, VR glasses, a pregnancy pillow, an ACC logo and a 'zero inspiration coupon' are pictured in front of stairs wrapped in a bow. Design: Mili Ghosh

Fun gifts to get your disabled friend on IDPWD

By The D*List

Giving them a $10 note or asking them for accessibility advice is overrated. Try these gifts instead! 

  • Fun gifts to get your disabled friend on IDPWD
    The D*List
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  • SATIRE: If you’re feeling sorry for your disabled friend, International Day of Persons With Disabilities on 3rd of December is the perfect occasion for you to step forward. Giving them a $10 note or asking them for accessibility advice is overrated. Try these gifts instead! 

    A pregnancy pillow

    This isn’t only helpful for those with a bun in the oven or for those who have eaten too much at Christmas lunch. Pregnancy pillows offer great support for your tired joints and emotional comfort for the cuddle-deprived.

    ‘Non-inspo’ pass

    Is your friend tired of the burden of being inspiration porn? Are they sick of being motivational objects for non-disabled people? Or acting as a life lesson in the supermarket just by doing their grocery shopping? These vouchers give them a free day of not being inspiring to non-disabled people; it allows disabled people to exist as ourselves for a day. (T&Cs: Voucher expires after 12 months)

    A long-spouted squeezy plant watering bottle

    Your friend might be disabled, or just pretending to be disabled. Either way, they’re probably very lazy. Squeezy bottles are the socially acceptable douche you can use for anything: watering plants that are up high, refilling your guests’ glasses of wine, and douching. It’s probably wise to buy a separate one for each purpose, unless you’re a FREAK.

    Lafufu

    Lafufus (fake Labubus) are lowkey disability champions. They’re a little bit unconventional, countercultural, but still widely popular despite being deemed as lower class and enemy to the establishment.

    A dramatically staged ‘accidental’ push down the stairs (to get ACC funding)

    Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s a congenital condition. If that’s the case, your friend probably receives disability support through the Ministry of Health rather than ACC, and the difference is huge. You can have the same disability and support needs, but whether it was an accident or not can be the difference between 24/7 care and needing to hold your bladder when you’re home alone. ACC is the sugar daddy of disability support and he can supply better paying support work hours and shinier mobility aids.

    Non-disabled simulation experience

    This is a thoughtful, personalised, low-cost gift for your disabled friend. Think of how you could make 20 minutes of their day completely accessible. By the end of the experience they’ll be reminded how boring it is to be non-disabled and feel sorry for those who don’t need to be creative or adaptive in their day-to-day lives.

    Razor scooter 

    You don’t know speed unless you’ve been on a Razor scooter. They make a compact mobility aid, but also a heavy duty weapon for enemies. Lift the scooter up by its handle bars and with just a little kick to the deck, you’ve got a lethal spinning chunk of metal. 

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